I realise that I my existance is birfurcated into the past and the future where the present moves more like the the seconds arm of a watch ... perhaps our consciousness is but a the moving target!?!
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
2004 - guess there's more!
I've been affected by the recent incidents and situations in the past few weeks and me phalanges reflect the thought in me head.
The typo errors aren't deliberate its just too natural especially since the reason stares back at me.
My left breast aches in a mild painful way while my eyes seek out the source... I smell a conspiracy and the future's a day old for now.
Patience isn't a virtue of late,
its but a curse ~ my very fate!!!
Its more like I feel trapped or is it because I've just realized that the comfort is freezing me brain dead!!!
Hope's a distant as the stars but it glows bright and clear!
Voices in and out of me advise but the conscience is speechless as a deed is to be done!
I'm tired as much as a pinball ball that's got the same trappings but a different collision course...
Is it something urbane?
Have I reached the dead-end?
Am I deadened?
Have my dreams shrunk?
Am I getting older between me ears?
Is this the biggest nightmare I've seen?
I'm on the edge of rage yearing for an opportunity to retaliate but is that me? Is that what I'd like to be?
I need to break this vicious cycle of thought where I have my own space and identity, not the re-enactment of my past!
Why should everyday begin from yesterday? Life's getting as cyclical as a washing machine cycle!
How I 'd wish to reorganise it all ~
No money -> No investment in reading/development/travel ~ GROWTH -> No tangible benefits - personal or professional
-> No joy / happiness -> No idea of the present and future -> Feeling of being trapped -> Despair -> because no Money.....
and that thought is a week old!
so whatdoIdoaboutit?
1) Patience a.k.a. the simple ignorance personified state of mind. Blissful existence where the god times will follows the bad times. Period!
2) Action - oh there are a lot of ways of doing this ~ give them a deadline and work on it
3) A bit of both ~ work on the escape plan and then act them into a corner.
But hey thankfully I've got it out of me - at least expressed it out in all colors and sizes ; >
Cheers ~ knock it off and wake up to the fact that this is just a roadside restaurant not even a motel on the road - Big Picture mate - big picture
... today's problems are tomorrows jokes ; )
Reality check here I come ; )
3:26 AM
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